Brick, what are you doing in there? Get what you want and shut the door.
But I've got my middle school placement test tomorrow.
Mr. Walker said everyone has to bring a healthy snack.
Well...
Yeah, here you go. Jelly.
Jelly's a fruit. Can't get much healthier than that.
- We're out of bread. - Even better.
You eat it with a spoon and the vitamins get to your brain faster.
- Fine. - Look at this.
We just got a pink cut-off notice from the power company.
What? No, they can't do that. We're only at green.
It goes green, then yellow, then pink.
Hey, we're good non-paying-on-time customers. They can't do that to us.
You're right, we hold all the cards.
Someone's gotta go down there tomorrow and pay the bill.
- I guess somebody does. - Well, I can't.
Axl's off school tomorrow so I'm taking him fishing. Remember?
- Borrowing Ed's boat. - Okay, olives are a vegetable.
Two if you count the little thing in the middle.
Now close the fridge, you heard your dad.
They're gonna shut off our power.
What are you doing?
You know, I've never really looked in your room before.
When you feel your nerd powers being drained...
do you come in here to recharge?
- Get out of here, Axl. - Oh, I'm going.
And you know why?
Because "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
Hilarious. Maybe I'll take a journey to the kitchen...
and tell Mom you were in my room!
Jeez, hang in there, baby. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Would you just get out?
I don't go into your room and stare at your booger wall.
Hey! Some of those aren't mine.
Whoa.
Wait a sec...
How many of these perfect attendance certificates do you have?
Have you seriously never missed a day of school?
Why would I not go to school?
Axl, the most powerful weapon in the world is education.
Hm.
So you've really never skipped school?
Never? Not once?
No. What if I missed something important?
Wow, I am seriously worried about you, Sue. That is not normal.
I mean, you think... this guy would've ever made it...
to the top of that mountain if he just sat at his desk every day...
winning perfect attendance certificates?
Methinks he would not.
Axl's "methinks" made Sue start to think.
Was it true? Did she never leave her comfort zone?
Was she afraid to fly?
Her posters, once so inspirational, now seemed to be mocking her.
Much as she hated to admit it...
she was not following the advice of her own walls.
Bye, Dad.
I guess Mom already took Brick, so I'm gonna go out and catch the bus.
'Cause it'll be here soon. To take me to school.
- Hm-mm. - Okay.
Have fun fishing, you guys.
I wanna hear all about it after I come home tonight...
from a full day of school which I am about to leave for.
- Oh, my God, just go. - Yeah.
She was doing it. She was pecking out of that shell.
Yep, at the ripe old age of 16, Sue Heck was gonna skip school.
Are you serious? Only one person working?
- This is ridiculous. - I know, right?
I really cannot be late.
You know, my job's not nearly as important as yours.
You go ahead. Doctor.
Well, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Remember to fill in your circles completely.
Not an "X", not a scribble, not a...
Brick, what are you doing?
This test is very important.
It determines what track you'll be on in middle school.
Oh, that's okay.
I've decided I'm not going to middle school.
Of all the days to be stuck here, and I have so many patients.
I hear ya. I've got appointments too.
Yeah, well, if it was just me, it would be fine.
I just worry about the kids.
But I guess they can wait.
Except of course, little Jimmy.
Uh, you know what? Why don't you go ahead?
Oh, really? Thank you.
You saved a life today.
I couldn't believe it.
Was this really how the other half lives?
This coat was power.
Sue's ditch day wasn't exactly fun yet...
but she knew as soon as she intercepted the call...
from the attendance office she could really start living.
Provided she stayed low to the ground...
- and out of sight. - Hello?
This is the Orson High Attendance Office.
May I speak to Frankie Heck, please?
Yes, this is she.
- Why am I British? - Sorry to bother you...
I'm just verifying that Sue Heck is home sick today?
Oh, yes, she is quite sick.
Sick as the dickens, I'm afraid.
Well, please make sure she brings a note with a parent's signature.
- A note? - Yes.
It's a requirement any time a student has been absent.
Very well. A note.
I'll add it to my schedule. Cheerio!
I don't know what the issue is.
Now he's saying he doesn't want to go to middle school at all.
Should we call the parents?
Sure. Let's call the parents.
I mean, what do we even need a school therapist for?
I mean, what do they need any of us for, for that matter?
Is that what you're trying to do, Mark? Put us out of a job?
You don't like insurance? Sixty-eight days off every summer?
We have a sweet gig here.
We need to look out for each other.
Well, prep the patient and I'll be there as soon as I can.
Is the heart in yet from Seattle Grace?
Yes, I know I'm the doctor you come to when no one else can do it.
But I'm stuck in line at the power company.
Listen to me, we're not gonna lose this kid.
I want you to run a CT, a CBC, a chem-7 and a tox screen.
Thank you, Grey's Anatomy.
You know, Axl, this is nice. I'm glad we're doing this.
You'll be heading off to college soon.
Yep, closing the book on 12 years of learning.
So glad that's done.
Yeah, well, you might not wanna close that book completely just yet.
- College is... - Whoa, hey!
What are you talking about school for?
- You're gonna ruin the trip. - I'm just saying...
you didn't exactly light up the world with your report cards.
College is a lot of work and I'm not gonna be there...
- to kick your butt every day. - I haven't even graduated yet...
and you're already putting pressure on me.
You're not gonna be able to skate by like you did in high school.
It'll catch up to you there. You gotta keep your eye on the ball.
There's gonna be all kinds of distractions...
Important to stay focused.
All right.
I'm sorry, what was that again you were telling me about, you know...
- not getting distracted? - All right.
'Cause that was hilarious.
I mean, you were totally checking out those girls.
Hey, it was a large group, all right?
You look at a large group of anything.
Gazelles, ants, RVs.
So, uh... what are you gonna tell Mom?
'Cause I'm allowed to look at girls, but I'm pretty sure you're not.
Hey, your mom spends an awful lot of time Googling Brian Williams.
Yeah, wouldn't go with that one.
Hey, Brick. You know, I just thought we could chat. Huh?
So, what's up? What's the haps?
Que pasa, as they say in some lands? Hm?
How are things at home? Anyone on drugs?
Well, my power's gonna be turned off...
and my parents are sending my brother away.
Also, I had secret agent kittens in my closet.
Oh.
Does anyone else see these kittens?
Oh, no, they're gone now 'cause they got famous.
Ah.
How much do you think they're gonna look at the signature?
'Cause my mom's handwriting has this weird "K"...
that I just can't seem to get down.
I don't think they look at the signature that closely.
So what's happening?
Is the whole school, like, freaking out that I'm not there?
Um... I don't think so.
How about you and your bad self?
O-M-G, are you having, like, so much fun?
So much fun.
I don't know how much more fun I can take.
So what time is it? You guys almost done for the day?
Sue, it's 10:15.
What?
So listen, usually I get two notices and then a pink one...
- but this time... - Oh, I'm so sorry, doctor.
There must be some error on our part. Let me check my computer.
I see they've added some late charges...
- but of course I'll waive those. - Oh, excellent.
And somehow they've dropped the "doctor" from your account.
I'll just add that back in.
Well, thank you, Sandra, I appreciate it.
I mean, sure, it's just a title. A few little letters.
But they do represent so much training and expertise.
Now can you put half on my Discover card...
and half on my Kroger card?
Hi, Brick! I'm Curious Cat.
Please ignore the fact that I'm anatomically correct...
as that has no bearing on this discussion.
So... tell me, what's going on in the wonderful world of Brick?
Really? We're actually doing this?
Sorry, Curious Cat, I guess Brick...
isn't in the mood to chat.
Like that time Shelly broke up with me and I begged her to talk it out...
and she just slammed the door in my face.
She didn't deserve you.
Thank you, Curious Cat. You get me.
Seems like you guys have a lot to talk about.
Should I just leave you two alone?
Frankie, thank goodness you're here.
We have a new patient coming in, the phone is ringing...
and I didn't know what the hello-how-are-ya to do.
Sorry, I am so sorry.
I know it's just my fifth day of work and you don't know me that well...
but this is not who I am. I am not the late person.
It's just if the person I hired to answer the phone...
isn't here to answer the phone, then... ring, ring, who's there?
I don't know, no one's here to answer the phone.
I know, I am so, so sorry.
I don't mean to be mean, but you should probably be here...
when you're supposed to be here, you know?
Whew. Sorry things got heated there.
Dr. Grouchy hasn't made an appearance in a while.
Just, please, Frankie, pretty please, be on time.
Ah! There he is again.
Hi, welc...
Hey, from the line, right?
Hi.
Huh. I'm sorry, I assumed you were a doctor.
You said something about saving lives?
Well, tooth decay is the number one killer of children.
Well, maybe not number one, but it's definitely in the top three.
Okay, I'm ready back here.
Oops. Hang on, we seem to be missing a patient.
Sure hope we find one soon.
Okay, why don't you go on back with my assistant...
and we can get started.
Don't judge. What was I supposed to do?
I couldn't have my new boss thinking I was crazy.
Oh, I got one!
Ah. Got away.
That was a big one, too.
Axl, stop screwing around and get over here and help.
Why are you yelling at me? I'm not the one who...
put the boat in the ditch 'cause I was looking at what I can't buy.
- Will you stop? - Why? It's true.
Plus, I told you a really awesome idea to get us outta here...
- but you won't try it. - Okay, fine, smart guy.
- Let's try your way. - Really?
Hey, I didn't say I liked your idea, I just said I'd try it.
Well, maybe if I put a bikini on my idea, you'd like it.
That's your last time.
Okay, let's see what we've got here.
Oh... Brad, I really don't feel well.
I need you to search "hives" for me.
I can't do it, 'cause it'll leave a trail on the computer...
and if my parents check the history and see "hives"...
they'll know I ditched.
Sorry, Sue, I gotta get back to the assembly.
W-wait, what assembly?
Uh, only the surprise assembly.
Everyone in school got out of math and English to go to the gym...
to watch four college a cappella groups having a sing-off.
I totally think the TestostaTones are gonna take it.
Also, reporters are here and Carly and I got interviewed...
for the 6:00 news!
I gotta get back in there, Sue. They're handing out free ice cream!
♪ What's on your mind?
♪ How you doing today?
♪ Have you...
That's it, really get in there.
- Explorer? - That's right.
This is an explorer.
Oh. Okay, the more the merrier, I guess.
Let's see, there's some decay on the mesial buccal surface of number two.
Bingo, that's right. That's a hard one to find.
Let's go, old man, keep rocking it. Come on, put your back into it.
I'm gonna put my boot into something in a second.
Hey, relax, all right? This is only phase one of the plan.
What's phase two?
Oh... Yes!
Look whose plan worked!
Guess you don't need a shovel when you got an Ax, huh?
Sue wanted to salvage what was left of her day of fun.
So she crawled to the one place she could stay out of sight and relax.
Oh!
I'm desperate here, Brad. I need you to search "stains."
What gets out pop and salsa...
Hang on, I got a mouthful of pralines and cream.
Brad, my mom's gonna be home soon!
This is the worst day ever.
Why did I think I needed to break out of my comfort zone?
I love school. I love my egg!
This is all Axl's fault.
You know, he twisted the meanings of my posters all around.
People can still climb mountains without skipping school.
They just do it outside of school hours.
No!
All right, Brick. I give up.
If the Tribe of Truth doesn't work, I don't know what will.
I've done everything a professional therapist can do...
to justify his job.
I just don't get it.
Why don't you want to go to middle school?
Oh, is that what this was all about?
Well, at the middle school, the handles on the water fountains...
are on the right, and I'm used to having them be on the left...
like they are here.
It's kind of a big change and I don't think I'm ready for it.
That's what you're worried about? Water fountains?
Brick, half the water fountains at the middle school don't even work.
The place is a dump. I mean, if you're gonna worry about anything...
- it should be the asbestos. - What?
Nothing. No. No, it's fine. It's nothing to worry about.
You know, it's a silent killer.
I guess I'd feel better about middle school if I was going...
- with my friend. - Oh, well, who's your friend?
You.
Oh.
Wow, Brick.
Ah, God, I wish Shelly could hear this.
Don't tell me I don't connect to kids.
Maybe it's just 'cause your kids are a couple of hell-raisers.
- What's that? - Nothing. Nothing, Brick.
But I have some good news.
Yeah, due to the crushing defeat of the latest bond issue...
I now have to do the work of three people.
So, I am at the middle school Tuesdays and Thursdays.
You are?
So we can keep hanging out?
- You got it, buddy. - And you'll...
Yes, I'll talk to them about the water fountains.
Great.
- So let's take that test. - All right.
So we filled the mesial occlusal...
- on number 31. - Occlusal on number 31.
Uh, your tongue is gonna be numb for a little while.
So just be careful about what you eat.
- About what you eat. - Frankie, could I see you outside...
- for a minute? - Sure.
What is going on with you?
All day long, you've been acting like a... pardon my French... a weirdo.
I mean, I love the repeating game more than anybody...
but I just don't think it's appropriate for work.
Okay, look. The truth is... I think this guy is stalking me.
I saw him at the power company this morning and now he's here.
I had no idea.
Thank you for your honesty.
Boy, I remember how nervous I was telling my dad...
"Dad, I hate dentistry. I wanna be a fireman."
But then I didn't pass the fireman test 'cause I had a bad eye.
This one's glass.
It's not, but I wish it was, then I wouldn't have to be a dentist.
Hey, maybe I should just "drop him from the practice"...
so you don't have to see him again.
You know, I think that would be best.
We don't need that kind of crazy around here.
Well, it's true what they say.
"He who lies once finds it much easier to lie again."
I read that on a poster somewhere, probably in Sue's room.
You know, I'm starting to understand how Lance Armstrong got in so deep.
What?
Nothing. Um...
It's just, uh... you're checking out girls, you're crashing boats.
- This is a whole new you. - Yeah.
Well, don't get used to it.
No, it's cool. Never really seen you mess up before.
Really? Guess you haven't been watching.
You know, that motor thing, it was a good idea.
I never would've thought of that.
You might do okay in college after all.
Come on. Come on.
Hey, Mom. School was great.
There was an a cappella group sing-off.
And ice cream. I'll be in my room.
It's funny, you think you know what your family does...
when they walk out the door every morning.
But you know what?
You don't always know everything.
So how was everybody's day?
The test was good. Nothing special.
- Normal day. - Fishing was good.
Yep. How was work?
You know. Work's work.
Yep, these were gonna be great stories.
Someday, but not today.
♪