Takes a painful long time to bleed out from the gut.
You can do whatever you want, Crowley.
Metatron -- he's an angel.
He's the scribe of God.
This is Metatron. This is Metatron?
I'm not one of them. I'm not an Archangel.
I worked in the secretarial pool
before God chose me to take down the Word.
I've got it. The third trial.
- What is it? - To cure a demon.
- Cass?! - A little help here.
Abaddon. She's a demon...
Who, it turns out, is a knight of Hell.
Knights of Hell are handpicked by Lucifer himself.
The Demon Trap in your noggin is gonna keep you from smoking out.
We're gonna cut you into little steaks
and bury each strip under cement.
I can't believe you finally came up here with me.
Why wouldn't I?
I love this place.
It's like...I can breathe, you know?
Tommy you okay?
Aah!
Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.
Did you hear that?
What?
The growl?
No. Maybe it's a bear.
Shelly, get back!
Baby, what is wrong?
It's not a bear. It's a Wendigo.
Aah!
Hide in the bedroom. Right now.
Hide, Shelly!
Tommy, I don't hear anything.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna light his ugly ass on fire.
Get back.
Aah!
Aah.
Aah!
What's...H-happening?
Tommy!
Aah!
- Please tell me that's everything. - Yeah.
No, not even close.
You see, the Men of Letters kept files
on every demonic possession for the last 300 years,
I mean, we've got Borden, Lizzy, all the way to Crane, Ichabod.
Aah.
How you feeling?
Honestly, um...
My, uh, my whole body hurts.
I feel nauseous and like I'm starving at the same time,
and everything smells like rotting meat.
I've had that hangover.
Jager, man.
Maybe you should, uh, take a break, get some air.
Dean, the only thing that's gonna make me feel better
is finishing this. All right.
Well, I'll go get you some grub, keep your strength up.
Morning.
I like this bunker.
It's orderly.
Oh, give us a few months.
Dean wants to get a ping-pong table.
I've heard of that. It's a game, right?
Are you okay?
My wound isn't healing as quickly as I'd hoped...
But I am getting better.
And you're getting worse.
Well, two trials down, one to go.
And the final test, do you -- you know what it is?
I have to cure a Demon.
Of what?
That's what we're trying to figure out.
Soup's on.
There we go.
I think this is, uh...
Oh, it's still good.
A half-drunk beer, jerky, and three peanut-butter cups?
Yeah, we're -- we're running a little low.
I'll make a run.
Dean, I can go with you.
Dean.
I'm sorry.
For what?
For everything.
Everything?
Like, uh... Like ignoring us?
Yes.
Or like bolting off with the Angel Tablet,
then losing it 'cause you didn't trust me?
You didn't trust me.
Yes.
Yeah.
Nah, that's not gonna cut it.
Not this time.
So you can take your little apology and you cram it up your ass.
Dean, I thought I was doing the right thing.
Yeah, you always do.
Hey, uh, do we have a room 7B?
Dude, go easy on Cass, okay.
He's one of the good guys.
Dude, if anybody else -- I mean anybody --
pulled that kind of crap,
I would stab them in their neck on principle.
Why should I give him a free pass?
Because it's Cass.
What are we supposed to be looking for down here?
Um, anything on case 1138.
It was a class 5 infernal event --
St. Louis, March 8, 1957.
"Class 5 infernal event"?
Yeah. See, the Letters have this whole rating system.
"The Exorcist" would have been a class 2.
All right, so, what makes this puppet show so special?
It was weird.
Weird how?
No clue.
One of the files just had a note written in the margin
about room 7B
and the word "weird" with three exclamation points.
Good times.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Got it.
Sammy, check this out.
Whoa.
Is that a Devil's Trap?
It takes up half the room.
These chains -- they have spellwork etched into them.
So we have a dungeon.
Finally.
What do you got there?
Movie night?
Simon, we're filming.
Um, hello, world.
So this new ritual we're going to see,
this new type of exorcism, h-how does it work?
I don't know. It's my first time.
Wait, is that Abaddon?
Aah! Aah!
It's not killy enough.
It's got to be the, uh, the chick she possessed.
Hurry. We must do it now.
Dead! They're all dead!
Everyone you ever loved...
Hey, those chains look exactly like the ones in our dungeon.
In your what?
Demon on a leash -- cool.
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus...
hanc animam redintegra...
Lustra!
She's dead.
Where's the demon?
Stop filming.
What happened?
Will you just stop?!
Well, that was weird...
With three exclamation points.
That wasn't a normal exorcism.
They changed the words.
I believe "lustra" is Latin for wash or cleanse.
Oh, yeah, 'cause that was the most freaky thing
was the vocabulary.
What about the bloody high five or the chest burster?
Anything else on the film, like director's commentary,
sequel, maybe?
Yeah, listen to this.
The older priest, Max Thompson, bit the dust in '58,
but the younger one is still alive and still in St. Louis.
Think this kind of weird is worth the drive?
Dean, everything in those folders --
the possessions, the deals, all of it --
we've seen that before, but that --
That was all new.
Yeah, it's worth the drive.
All right. Let's roll.
Not you.
Sam is more damaged than I am.
Yeah, well, you know, even banged up, Sammy comes through.
Dean, I just want to help. We don't need your help.
Just stay here and -- and get better.
Father Thompson had some unorthodox ideas,
which is why the Men of Letters were interested.
Unorthodox how?
What exactly do you mean, "saved"?
A demon is a human soul, twisted and corrupted
by its time in Hell.
Father Thompson believed that you could wash that taint away
and restore their humanity.
So, what, they just stay
in whatever schmuck they're possessing
and -- and get a ticket upstairs?
I wish I knew.
Okay, but this -- this ritual...
Can cure a demon?
I suppose, if it worked,
but that night, something went terribly wrong.
The Demon escaped into the world,
and that poor old woman...
It was horrible.
I know father Thompson kept trying.
There were other possessions, experiments,
but I couldn't face that -- not again.
And then, a few months later...
He was dead.
How'd that happen?
Something tore him apart.
Did he keep any, uh
Did he keep records or --
Uh do you have a-a bathroom, maybe?
Thanks.
Is he all right?
Uh, no, padre.
He's...pretty damn far from all right.
That's why we're here.
I don't understand.
Well, short story is, uh, Sammy there
is gonna take whatever shredded your friend
and every other black-eyed bitch out there,
and he's gonna get rid of them for good.
He is?
In his condition?
Father, over the past couple of months,
I've seen him do crap that I didn't even think was possible.
I mean, sure, he's miserable and he's hurting,
but you know what?
There's not a doubt in my mind
that he's gonna cross that finish line -- not one.
So, will you help us?
I'll get father Thompson's things for you.
Thank you.
Dude.
Dude!
I -- I have money.
Where's the pie?
I think we're out.
You don't understand.
I need pie.
Put the virgin down, Castiel.
We need to talk.
You're Metatron?
The Metatron?
Yes.
In public, it's Marv.
Marv.
And you're Castiel.
Kevin Tran told me about you.
- He did? - Yeah.
According to him, you and I have a lot in common.
We're both free thinkers.
We're both on heaven's most wanted list.
I thought we could socialize, maybe grab a bite.
I'm sorry -- we can...What?
Look, I've been on sabbatical.
I'm trying to play catch-up,
but I have to talk to somebody about what's going on back home.
And by home, you mean heaven? Right.
I've been looking around,
crawling through a few divine nooks and crannies,
and from what I can see,
without the Archangels, it's a mess up there.
Open warfare.
I thought Naomi was running things now.
Is that what she told you?
I mean, Naomi's a player --
don't get me wrong -- just one of many.
There are factions upon factions,
all fighting, betraying each other.
It's just a matter of time
before they start ripping each other apart.
It's all broken.
I know, I'm the one who broke it.
There was a time when I thought I could lead our people,
but I was mistaken.
I spilled so much blood.
And I've tried to atone for my sins and I did penance.
And I betrayed my friends
to protect our secrets,
but I've just failed.
And now --
Look, I know.
But now the angels -- heaven --
need someone to come to the rescue.
They need us.
Us? Yeah. Just -- just picture it.
We ride to the rescue, save the day --
make a great story.
Look, the angels are like a big, dysfunctional family.
We need to lock them all in a room
until we work these problems out --
all the factions, you, me --
what, like a big family meeting?
Exactly.
Which is why we have to shut down heaven.
What?
Do you like crepes?
Wait -- Eugenie's in Ojai
makes the greatest caramel apple crepes.
Metatron -- Marv.
I can't find Cass.
You think he blew town?
Sounds like him.
So it turns out that, uh,
Father Thompson recorded all of his demon-cure tests.
This one here, this was the last one --
two days before he died.
The date is August 3, 1958.
This is trial 19, hour 1.
My subject is Peter Kent.
Mr. Kent is the father of two young sons,
and three weeks ago, he was possessed by a demon.
I'm going to ask you a question now.
When you crawled into Mr. Kent and ate his children,
how did it feel?
Orgasmic.
Aah!
The first dose has been administered.
Do we know what padre was dosing number-one dad up with?
Uh, yeah, his own purified blood.
Purified how?
Before he started,
Father Thompson went to confession.
This is trial 19, hour 2.
When you ate his children, how did it feel?
Stringy!
Aah!
The second dose has been administered.
Hour 4.
When you ate his children --
Kiss my ass!
How did it feel? Soft.
Aaaah!
The sixth dose has been administered.
Stop.
How... Please.
Aah!
...did it...
Aah! Aah!
...feel?
Stop!!
Hour 8, the subject is prepped.
Aah! Aah!
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus.
Hanc animam redintegra, lustra!
Lustra!
When you ate his children, how did it feel?
They were screaming...
and I laughed.
Why did I laugh?
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
God, I was a monster.
But now you are a man again.
And you have been saved.
Did he just... Cure a demon?
Maybe.
Could we take this hoodoo on a test drive?
Um, I mean, I have the exorcism right here.
All we need is the blood, consecrated ground, and a demon.
So, what? We summon a demon, trap it --
Or -- or we use one that we've already tagged.
Do we still have dad's old army field surgeon's kit?
It's in the trunk. Why?
Yeah, I think it's time we put humpty dumpty
back together again.
Why did you leave?
I can't have this conversation on an empty stomach.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Can I get you anything?
Coffee, please.
Sure. Cool coat.
No, it's actually quite warm.
Cute and funny -- okay.
I should have picked a better-looking vessel.
What did you mean, we can shut down Heaven?
Oh, you know, the trials --
God's little "pull in case of emergency""
the Leviathans get out of control,
you put them in Purgatory.
Demons get a little too demonic, toss 'em into Hell.
Angels get uppity, slam the pearly gates.
Are you saying you know the trials to close heaven?
I wrote 'em down.
It's not something you forget.
Look, I think a little alone time
would be good for the angels.
At the very least, it would s--
It would stop the fighting up there
from spilling out down here, which will happen.
It always does.
You're gonna complete these tests?
No.
I can't.
I am a pencil pusher, always have been.
I'm not strong enough.
But you -- you are a warrior.
I've got the plan.
You've got the muscle.
We can do this.
Heaven needs your help, Castiel.
I am the one that caused these problems.
I should be the one to fix them.
But you understand this is, um, not going to be easy.
I understand.
No, you don't.
See our waitress?
She's the first trial -- got to cut her heart out.
What?
No, she's...
She's just a girl.
No, she isn't.
She's a Nephilim, an abomination.
She's the offspring of an angel and a human?
I thought that wasn't allowed. It's not.
There's only one on Earth, and you are looking at it.
But she didn't choose to be a Nephilim, so she's innocent.
Yes, she is.
I told you it wasn't gonna be easy.
But if you want to do this, Castiel,
if you really want to do this,
you got to ask yourself what's more important --
her life or your family?
So you really think this will work?
Dude, we got needles. We got thread.
We've seen "Young Frankenstein" about a thousand times.
Yeah, we're golden.
Ugh.
This is gonna be disgusting.
Uh-huh.
Morning, sunshines.
It worked.
You owe me a beer.
And I owe you both so, so much.
I can't wait to tear out those pretty green eyes.
Good luck with that.
We figured kitty didn't need her claws.
Then I'll stump you to death. It'll be swell.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen, either.
The bullet -- remember?
So you sit there like a good little bitch.
We're gonna consecrate the ground,
and you're gonna get to fessing up.
Oh, I know this tune. I doubt that.
Father Max Thompson, born October 12, 1910.
Died August 5, 1958.
Who do you think ripped him apart?
Word got back to home office
that Maxie was messing with things,
so we made an example.
It wasn't my most artful kill, but it was effective.
And bonus --
before he died, he told me all about Josie Sands.
I found her, and I rode her into the Men of Letters.
And what I did to them, that was art.
So you know what Max was doing?
Fella screamed the basics...
But it'll never work.
You keep telling yourself that.
Hello, boy.
Crowley.
Crowley?
The salesman?
Try the King of Hell.
This is a joke, right?
Stay.
Hold on.
How'd you get this number?
Ah, first things first --
what are you wearing?
Oh, okay, hanging up now. Hang up.
Fine. This isn't a social call.
I was wondering.
You lads been reading the papers,
say, Denver Times from yesterday?
No?
Well, you should. It's side-splitting.
What the hell -- I'm sexting you an address.
Check it out.
Then we'll talk. Cheerio.
Wait, what?
Crowley?
Here it is. Vic's name is Tommy Collins.
Tommy. Why do I know that name?
Well, Tommy Collins,
we saved him from a Wendigo like forever ago.
Okay, and, what, you think that Crowley blew his head off?
Well, what are we dealing with here?
Some sort of Demon-Wendigo team-up?
Uh, no clue.
All right, well, we'll pour one out for Tommy later.
As far as Crowley goes, screw him.
We got everything we need to put him in a permanent time-out.
No. No! No! No! No!
She's gone.
She's -- son of a bitch!
Dean!
It's a text message from Crowley --
an address in Prosperity, Indiana.
Prosperity?
Didn't we work a case there?
Yeah, yeah, the one with the witches and the baked goods.
So what? He's going after somebody there now?
I don't know.
We got to check it out.
Well, you know it's a trap. Of course it's a trap.
But a trap means demons, and we could use one right now.
Sam.
Is that...Jenny?
You were a great gal, Jenny Klein.
Hey.
What the hell are you doing, Crowley?
Dean. Hey.
Oh, Moosie, isn't it obvious?
I'm killing everyone you've ever saved --
the damsels in distress, the innocent whippersnappers,
the would-be vampire chow -- all of them.
How do you even know --
I have my sources and a cracking research team.
When you boys hit a town,
you tend to leave a mess.
Now, you're probably wondering
why my droogs aren't in there giving you the bum's rush,
so let's brass these tacks, shall we?
I'm gonna gut one person every 12 hours
until you bring me the Demon Tablet
and stop this whole trials nonsense.
We don't have the tablet. Kevin took it and --
I took Kevin.
Then someone took him back.
Word from the cloud is that it wasn't Heaven.
So either the cutest little Prophet
in the world is with you two lads,
or you better find him tout-bloody-suite
because time, she is a-wasting.
About now, you're thinking of ways to stop me.
You won't be able to, but you'll try because that's what you do.
You -- you try.
So, time for an object lesson.
Indianapolis, the Ivy Motel, room 116.
You have 57 minutes.
What's it gonna be, Castiel?
Sarah.
Sam?
I'm Sarah Blake.
I'm Sam.
What's going on?
I know what you are.
I could see your halos.
And we know what you are, abomination.
Please, I'm not.
I try to be nice.
I just want to live my life.
We know.
I am sorry.
You will be.
Having fun?
You want an abomination?
I'll show you an abomination.
So a demon named Crowley
is gonna kill me in...16 minutes.
No.
No, he's not.
Sarah, long time.
What you doing in Indy?
I...was scouting an estate sale for my dad.
Look, we're gonna put Devil's Traps everywhere --
the windows, the door.
We've got holy water,
an exorcism ready to play on a loop,
and anything that comes through that door --
it's meat.
Look, I know this is insane,
but insane is kind of what we do.
We'll keep you safe.
Okay.
Okay? That's it?
You've done it before.
That's new.
Yeah, I...
His name is Ian.
He works search and rescue.
Guess I have a type.
Our daughter, Bess -- she'll be one in a month.
That's, uh, great.
I mean it.
I'm really, uh...
I'm really happy for you.
Thanks, Sam.
And what about you?
Me?
Pretty much the same, I guess.
No, you're not.
You're not the same.
Look, it's been years,
and I can't even imagine the things you've been through.
But I don't know.
You just seem...more focused, confident, like...
...like you know what you want.
You grew up, Sam.
I do miss the old haircut, though.
Crowley.
Five...
Four...
Trios...
Zwei...
...uno.
Sarah! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Can you hear me?
Sarah!
She's dying, and there's nothing you can do about it.
You son of a bitch!
Son of a witch, actually.
My mommy taught me a few tricks.
It's a spell. Find the hex bag.
I thought of sending in a few of my bruisers,
really letting them go to town.
But then, well, trial one was kill a Hellhound.
Trial two was rescue a soul from the pit.
So, from here on, I'm gonna keep everything hell-related --
demons, et cetera -- away from you.
Safe side and all that --
plus, I just thought it seemed fitting.
From what I understand, Sammy took that bird's breath away.
What's the line?
Saving people, hunting things -- the family business.
Well, I think the people you save,
they're how you justify your pathetic little lives.
The alcoholism, the collateral damage,
the pain you've caused --
the one thing that allows you to sleep at night,
the one thing is knowing that these folks are out there,
still out there happy and healthy because of you,
you great, big, bloody heroes.
Hey! Hey! Hey! You're gonna be okay.
Sarah? They're your life's work,
and I'm going to rip it apart piece by piece
because I can,
because you can't stop me,
and because when they're all gone,
what will you have left?
No. No, no, no.
No.
No, please, no.
You want to keep those people alive.
I want complete and utter surrender.
The tablet, the trials -- you'll give them up,
or we'll keep doing this dance.
Your choice, my darlings.
You okay?
What do you think?
Look, I know it's bad right now, okay,
but we stick to the plan.
We shut down Hell.
How, exactly?
We get a demon --
You heard Crowley.
He's not gonna let one near us,
and without a demon, all we can do is sit back
and watch people we know, people we saved,
die like Sarah.
So what are you saying?
I'm saying...
Maybe this isn't one we can win.
Maybe we should just take the deal.
We'll figure this out.
We will.
Man, we'll get it done.
We'll kick it in the ass like we always do.
Are you with me?