[Crow caws]
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.Addic7ed.Com -
Axl: Ugh! What are you even doing down there?
You're all up in my space, as per uzhe.
I'm looking for the Halloween candy
I bought last march when it was cheaper.
I hid it from myself so I wouldn't eat it.
Okay, every word of that was really sad.
[Sighs]
Hey, have you figured out
what you're gonna be for Halloween yet?
You know, it's almost here,
and I don't want to be scrambling around at the last minute
looking for a costume for you.
You can't be paper towel man for a third time.
Yeah... actually, I decided
I'm not gonna go trick-or-treating this year.
What?
I don't know.
I think I'm getting a little old for that.
Aw. You're not going trick-or-treating?
Aw.
Mike, he's not going trick-or-treating.
Good. You hate trick-or-treating.
Yeah, but if I'd known last year was gonna be the last time,
I would've made sure to enjoy it.
You didn't even take him out last year.
And the year before that, didn't Nancy Donahue take him?
Whatever time I took him out, whenever it was,
I wish I'd known that was gonna be it, okay?
So, I guess you're just gonna stay home
and hand out candy with us, then, huh?
Actually, I think my friend Cindy is gonna come over.
Really? She's coming over here?
Mm.
Why?
No reason. We're just gonna hang.
[Sue humming]
Okay, here it is, people...
My Sue-mometer.
I was feeling kind of stressed
about how much money I'm gonna need for college,
so I thought this would make me feel better.
Sure.
Okay, I know it looks kind of low,
but this only shows
my Disney-jar money and my spudsy money.
I haven't even colored in my optimist scholarship money.
Yet.
[Marker cap pops]
Maybe if I use thicker markers...
Oh, God. I am starting to feel kind of overwhelmed.
You and me both, pal.
You and me, both.
[Sighs]
What are you doing on my couch?
Studying, obviously. I have a huge history paper due.
[Airplane engine roars]
So you're watching "Pearl Harbor"?
If given the choice to learn about stuff
through Ben Affleck or not, I always choose Ben Affleck.
You're not learning history from this movie.
You're not even learning movies from this movie.
It's not my fault. Professor hanawalt is so lame.
Our paper's due Halloween night. Who does that?
Well, how long you known about this?
He sprung it on us like a month ago.
Axl, it's not gonna get done if you're sitting here.
You know what you do?
You drive to campus, go to the library,
look at the card catalog,
you check out a book on the subject...
I think what your grandpa here is saying
is that you need to go to a place
where there's not a lot of distractions,
and the library is not a bad place to do that.
Ugh! I don't like the library.
It's quiet, it's boring, and I don't know where it is.
What does it even mean... "We're just gonna hang"?
Does Brick even know how to do that?
Did you talk to him about hanging?
- Didn't think I had to. - Mm.
I thought it'd be years before this kind of situation came up.
[Sighs]
Well, one thing we know is, it's gonna be weird.
'Cause Cindy's got to be weirder than Brick, right?
It's gonna be a horse race.
Oof.
It's just going so fast, you know?
Seems like only yesterday
Brick was dressing up for Halloween
as some obscure historical character,
and now he's hanging with a girl.
Ohh.
Think we should prep him or something?
Nah.
I think we got to just strap in and enjoy the show.
[Chuckles]
[School bell rings]
Happy Halloween!
♪ Happy Halloween ♪
Happy Halloween!
Okay, whatever that is, I want one.
What it is is the next big idea
on the "send Sue to college" plan.
I'm showing
"it's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie brown"
in Mrs. Henley's pumpkin patch.
Suggested donation... $5.
Oh, my God, Sue!
"Great Pumpkin in a pumpkin patch."
Oh! Move over, genius who invented man spanx.
[Snaps fingers] There's a new girl in town.
[Squeals] Here.
Hi, Brad.
Hi, Brad's new freshman friend.
Uh...
Never mind.
I thought you guys graduated.
Oh, didn't you hear?
We're the assistant coaches for the cheerleaders.
We just couldn't abandon the squad,
could we, coach court?
Could not, coach Deb.
Without us, those poor things
would've been left with only coach Campbell,
who we all know was not a cheerleader in high school.
[Smacks lips] All righty, then.
Do you guys want to come see a movie in a pumpkin patch?
Oh. Sounds fun.
But we're super-busy taking the squad in a new direction.
Things were getting kind of stale,
so we're gonna revamp the Orson high cheer style
using hip-hop moves, only sharper.
But not only that.
Yeah, pretty much that.
But not totally.
[Chuckles] Anyway...
We love sharing an apartment
and spending every single second of the day together.
Good luck with your movie in the dirt.
Thank...You.
[Doorbell rings]
Oh, Mike, could you grab the door?
And here.
Why are we giving out Easter eggs?
'Cause I hid the Easter candy behind the frosting,
and I figured by the time I ate through all the frosting,
I'd be too sick for the Easter candy, and I was right.
Just go.
Oh, and use your Frankenstein voice.
[Groans]
Yes! That's the one.
Happy Halloween.
Oh, hey. Look at you. You're a...Safari girl.
I'm not dressed up. I just like it.
You must be Brick's friend.
Hi, Cindy. Come on in.
Hi, Cindy.
Whoop!
I came at 7:00.
Actually, I came at 6:53,
but I stood in the bushes till 7:00.
Cool.
TV's in here.
Did you hear that? "The TV's in here."
My boy's got game.
Brad: Question.
Do I have to donate twice since I'm dressed as...
Danny...And...Sandy. From "Grease"?
[Chuckles] Wow.
Oh, just wow, Brad.
Amazing costume.
[Gasps]
You make a very pretty Sandy and such a handsome Danny!
It is so confusing and yet so you!
[Chuckles]
Sue, look at this place. Oh!
I am hopelessly devoted to this pumpkin patch.
Where is everybody?
Well...The movie is supposed to start now,
but I think people are just finishing up trick-or-treating.
You know the "Peanuts" fans... They're a late-arriving crowd.
Well, we've got our spot,
and we are so glad we beat the rush.
"And that's when America declared victory."
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
"But I believe Ben Affleck put it best when he said,
"those bastards will think twice
before they bomb us again."
[Laughs] Whoo!
I'm done!
[Crickets chirping]
Hello?
Frankie: So, Axl was with books and Brick was with a girl.
I'm chalking this one up to Halloween.
Man on TV: And in the case of male tigers, on access to females,
a tigress may have a territory of 20 square kilometers,
while the territories of males are much larger,
covering 60 to 100 kilometers.
While females can at times be aggressive
towards other females...
Okay, this has to be the oddest thing I've ever seen,
but it seems to be working.
[Doors rattle]
No. No! No! No! No! Don't be dead!
[Groans]
Ooh!
Whoa.
[Dial tone]
God, how can they do this?!
Uh...
Ooh. "Operator."
[Dial turns]
[Ringing] Oh, my God. This is taking forever.
Woman: This is the east Indiana state university operator system.
Yes! [Chuckling] Yes!
If you'd like to dial out, please press "1."
To reach campus security, please press "2."
[Chuckles]
I would very much like to do both of these things,
but there's no buttons!
It's just some weird wheely thing.
Oh! This phone is from "the Flintstones"!
[Grunts]
Help!
Help!!
Trick or treat! Trick or treat! Trick or treat!
[Laughing] Aww!
Happy Halloween! You look great!
Have a good night.
Man on TV: Territorial disputes can be...
Uh, where's Brick?
He left.
What do you mean, "he left"?
He decided he wanted to go trick-or-treating after all.
Okay. Great.
I'm sure he'll be right back.
Mike...
He ditched her.
What?
Yeah, he's gone. Your son decided to go trick-or-treating.
Aw, man.
I'm calling his cell.
I knew he wasn't ready for hanging.
Hanging is a very s...
[Cellphone vibrating]
Tell me why we bought this, again.
[Telephone beeps]
He's blowing it, Mike.
That's what he's doing. He's blowing it.
Well, we're just gonna have to do something
to entertain her until he gets back.
Okay, follow me on this.
Unless we don't.
Look, Mike, he doesn't exactly have a ton of options.
You've heard about "the one that got away."
She might literally be "the one."
You know, Sue, it's getting pretty late.
Maybe you should call it a night.
No, Brad. You got to have faith.
They'll come.
They'll come, and my college fund will grow.
[Ringtone plays]
Oh, no.
What is it?
Oh, no. This is the worst news ever.
Okay, would you feel better hearing it from Danny or Sandy?
And do you want it sung, like "Summer Lovin',"
or spoken through, like "Stranded At The Drive-in"?
Can I maybe just hear it from Brad?
[Sighs]
I know why nobody's here, Sue.
Courtney and Debbie, after not liking your idea,
apparently did like your idea enough to steal it.
They're showing "Poltergeist" in the graveyard,
and everybody's there.
And they don't just have popcorn.
They have... and I'm so sorry I have to say this...
Kettle corn.
Seriously?
Okay. No. You know what? It's fine.
I mean, come on.
A scary movie in a graveyard on Halloween?
It's a little cliché, don't you think?
You're right. You're right, Sue.
People will come.
And we will wait for them as long as it takes.
Even though I spent eight hours on this costume,
I don't care if nobody ever sees it.
Just go.
Oh! Thank you!
Sandy and Danny may be there collecting compliments,
but Brad's heart stays right here in this pumpkin patch.
I promise.
...and adult elephants...
So, what do your parents do?
I don't know.
That's fine.
You don't need to know that. You're just a kid.
Hey, are you hungry? Can I get you something?
A snack?
I'll take some shrimp.
Well...We might have just run out.
Then nothing.
You need to go get shrimp.
- Shrimp? - Yes... shrimp.
Cindy's hungry, and the only thing she wants is shrimp.
We don't even eat shrimp.
We're gonna go out and get some stranger shrimp?
She's not some stranger, Mike. She's a girl who likes our son.
I'm not getting shrimp.
[Scoffs] Fine.
Then I will get the shrimp,
and you go in there and talk to her.
Her name is Cindy. She has an older sister.
- She doesn't know what her parents do... - I'll get the shrimp.
[Groans]
Oh. Hey, dude. [Chuckles]
So, you're trapped in here, too, huh?
[Inhales deeply]
'Sup? [Clicks tongue] I'm Axl.
I don't know who you are, so maybe I'll just call you...
Lebron.
Yep. Looks like I'm stuck here till morning.
But it's cool. Totally cool.
I have the gift of being able to fall asleep
pretty much anywhere, so...
Yeah. Night, Lebron.
[Groans]
Aah!
Frankie: There comes a time when faith can only take you so far
and you have to give up... unless you're Sue.
[Sue shivering]
Oh. Shoot.
I must have missed the movie, huh?
Oh! No! No, no, no, no!
No, you are right on time.
[Chuckling] Well, happy to hear that.
I was at home trying to watch TV,
but...Pbht!
There's just too many buttons nowadays.
Well, I'm really glad you came.
Right this way.
Let me show you to your hay bale.
Ahh.
Help yourself to a wheelbarrow of popcorn.
And here is your ziplock baggy of raisinets.
[Door closes]
Got the shrimp.
Ah. Good, 'cause I'm dying here.
I thought I could make Cindy some caramel apples,
but all I could find was a pack of peeps and a black banana.
And I ate the peeps.
I have a problem.
Well, we better get on this.
The guy at the frugal Hoosier said
this shrimp's got to be eaten within the hour.
You have any idea how to make this?
I have no clue. We'll just throw it in a pan with some butter.
That works for everything.
Next year at this same time,
I'll find a pumpkin patch that is real...
Gets better every time.
It does, doesn't it?
I always feel bad about that, uh, Linus kid, though.
He's so crushed
when the Great Pumpkin doesn't turn up at the end.
Really?
I don't think it's sad at all.
To me, it just shows
that you don't always get what you hoped for,
but you can still keep trying.
[Chuckles]
Uh...
Oh. No. Please.
You don't have to worry about that.
I'm just glad that you came and you had a nice time.
After all the trouble you went to to set this all up?
No, no, no, no, no. I insist.
All righty. I better get on with it.
The Great Pumpkin may have left some presents at my house.
[Clicks tongue]
[Chuckles]
Hey, Cindy. Look what I whipped up.
Man on TV: With small prey, the tiger bites the nape,
often breaking the spinal cord...
That's all you want?
I'm good.
Okay.
'Cause, you know, it's kind of a special, special thing...
That we were so happy to make for you,
because you're our guest and we are so happy to have...
Oh, look! Brick's back.
I mean, we knew he'd be back, but isn't that great?
Brick, can I talk to you for a minute?
Brick: Sure.
What were you thinking?
You don't just disappear after you invite somebody over.
A man doesn't treat a woman he likes that way.
Uh, no offense, mom,
but I got a girl to come to my house.
I think I'm doing all right.
Yeah, but the goal is to get her to come back a second time.
I-it's about chivalry.
Tell him, Mike.
Brick, you like her,
and you want her to like you back, right?
In an ideal world, yes.
Okay, so... you hold the door open for her,
you help her out if she's carrying something heavy,
and you don't leave in the middle of the date
to go trick-or-treating.
I asked her if she wanted to go with me, and she said no.
And that's why you needed to stay home.
Why would I stay home if I wanted to go?
Because as a man, you don't get to do what you want.
What? Why?
You ever want to kiss her?
I did enjoy that kiss I got in north Carolina.
Well, if you ever want to get one in Indiana,
you got to do all kinds of things you don't want to do.
What kind of things?
Uh...Go see movies you're not interested in,
go to brunch, go to church,
do errands together, for some reason.
Uh... call the electric company,
mute the game so she can tell you her dreams.
Okay, just to be clear,
women do a lot of things we don't want to do, either.
Birthday.
Eh.
Wow. Getting a kiss is sounding very complicated.
Okay, okay. I get what you're saying.
Chivalry... I'm on it.
So I should probably get back out there, right?
Oh, my God. Yes. How long have we been in here?
Let's go. Let's go.
How long until you get to start doing things you want to do?
I'll let you know.
$50!
Hey!
[Laughs]
All right.
I know I kind of freaked out back there,
but just so you know... [Chuckles] I'm not that guy.
I haven't needed a night-light in, like, five years,
so, yeah... not scared of anything, really.
[Chuckles]
[Sighs]
I think I'm just not used to being alone.
I usually have my family or friends around.
I'm a super-popular guy.
I mean, I don't know if feather salesmen
were popular in your time.
I assume that's what you are... a feather salesman.
But yeah, spending time alone is good, right?
I mean, you're alone with your thoughts, so...
What are my thoughts?
[Chuckles]
What...Are... [snaps fingers] My thoughts?
Um...
Been thinking a lot about college lately.
Uh... [clears throat]
Well...
More about what happens when college is over.
'Cause, see, I'm a business major now,
and I don't even really know what that means.
Uh, am I gonna be a businessman?
Am I gonna go on business trips with my briefcase
and visit different branches of my business?
Or will I be one of those guys
who owns some kind of outdoor business
and visits jobsites in a cool windbreaker?
I just think maybe if I knew what I'd be wearing,
I could work backwards from there,
'cause no one is telling me what I should do.
[Chuckles] No one.
I mean, your whole life, people are telling you,
"next year, you're gonna go to kindergarten,
then you're going to high school,
then you're going to college," and then, bam!
People stop telling you what you're supposed to do,
and you're supposed to just figure it out.
And all I know is, my dad still ties my ties!
How am I supposed to be a businessman
if I can't even tie my own ties?
[Chuckling] It's... ugh.
[Sighs]
The truth is, Lebron...
I'm not sure my awesomeness
is gonna translate into the real world.
Maybe I...Peaked?
[Exhales sharply]
I just...
I don't know anything about my future,
and when I think about that...
[Sighs]
...I'm scared, man.
I'm really scared.
[Sighs]
Frankie: So, Axl made it through his first real night alone.
[Groans]
[Clears throat]
Lates, Lebron.
[Pats]
[Clears throat]
Library closes at 8:00, just so everybody knows.
And the rest of us were glad
we made it through the weirdest Halloween yet.
And the best part... Leftovers for breakfast.
Okay, I know my $50 sliver doesn't seem like much,
but if I get 800 more slivers,
that is one year of college.
And then, three more years, that's only 2,400 slivers.
[Giggles] I don't know about you guys,
but to me, that seems pretty doable.
[Door opens, closes]
Hey, Axl. What are you doing here?
Nothing... just wanted some breakfast
and to see what you losers were up to.
Did you get that paper done?
Oh, yeah. Whole two minutes early.
Told you I was on top of it.
[Sighs]
Hey, you know, I've been kind of thinking about my major.
Mm. About business?
Yeah.
What is...
It?
You don't know what business is?
No.
Well, I know, but, like...
Okay, I graduate in business,
so then, what do I do... exactly?
- Mm. - Oh, my gosh.
I could see you doing so many things.
I mean, you're so good with people,
you could go into sales...
Maybe be one of those pharmaceutical salesmen?
I think the most important thing is to work for a company
that gives out free pens with the logo on it.
Okay, not helping.
Relax, Axl. You don't have to figure it out right now.
You're only a sophomore.
Yeah, and when you graduate,
the school has, like, job-placement counselors
to help you out with those things.
Really?
Whew! [Chuckles]
I feel so much better now.
Suck it, future! I'll be worried about you later.
Sue, hit me.
Frankie: Yep, when you're just starting out,
the world can seem like a scary place.
But sometimes just knowing your family
is there to come home to
makes you feel a little less alone.
And that's not scary at all.
Okay, Brick, one more time...
what should you do when you pick up a girl for a date?
Stare in her bedroom window to see if she's home?
- [Imitates buzzer] - That is not the right answer.
Walk in and look at her books until she's ready?
- Nope. - No, come on.
No. That's better.
Talk to her parents until she's ready?
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
There you go! All right!
Really? That's the right answer? That was my joke answer.
[Chuckles]